Tuesday, September 29, 2009

a necessary mindset


Forget what is past. Strive toward the future, run the race in order to obtain a greater reward in heaven and in your heart. Philippians 3:13-14

Seek Christ and the beauty of His sacrifice out first- remember that embracing the beauty of His given love, and giving it, is more valuable than anything else. It does not perish. Matthew 6:33

Just as we have been loved, cherished, and died for- let us follow in His footsteps by loving, cherishing, and dying to ourselves for other people. Matthew 16: 24-25 Hebrews 12:2

Worry about today only. This afternoon, or tonight, may never happen. Live like your burden only rests in today, in the task of storing up treasure, and healing and freeing hearts. Matthew 6:34

Get rid of the stuff that slows you down, fix your eyes on Jesus Christ solely. All else inhibits. Hebrews 12:1-2

Monday, September 28, 2009

Why do we see through eyes of selfishness? Why do I see through eyes of selfishness? Why is it that, no matter what I do- I can't help but, in my sub conscience, devalue the person I see who is in a lower social setting, dresses differently, or thinks differently. Jesus was homeless, unattractive, he thought differently, and he was much different of a person than everyone else- and he is the king of all kings and the son of God. Thats a powerful thought.. Still praying to be able to see through God's eyes of love, rather than my own eyes of selfishness.
"Whatever you do for the least of these, you did for me."

This trait of love is something you can only acquire through years of pursuing the riches of Christ with all your heart. But I know it will be so joyful to have!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

we need to tell "religious" people about jesus!!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

"Don't waste your life" By John Piper

"Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis

"Wild at Heart" by John Eldridge

The blog of Jason Holdridge called "heartist" http://jasonholdridge.blogspot.com/

"The Bible" By God.

My main books!


its so amazing! i had been doing alright this week- everytime i felt complacent, like my heart was in need of some life, I would go straight to my bible and straight to go pray, and I literally was the happiest guy on earth because my heart literally felt so very alive and ready to sacrifice for others, becuase of my given sureness in the treasure of heaven. and then last night, I was being lazy. My heart was starting to become tired and it needed rest- not physical rest, but rest in the truth of its origin and it's destination, the truth of Christ and the truth of heaven. So in order to fill this subtle longing, I got on facebook for like 3 hours, and it never went away, only got worse, i went and took a nap, didn't help, and i was starting to feel like a walking zombie for lack of meaning. I had forgotten what it's like to have a starved heart. it makes me really sad to think that a lot of people spend their whole lives like this because they're eyes are blinded to God's meaning! and that's why we're to be full of it, and point straight to God with our lives.
I went to pray before i went to bed and I fell asleep, 2 times, and eventually i fell asleep on my bed when i was praying. Basically, only got in about 20 seconds of a prayer before zonking off... i think these are the times when God looks at the mess we make out of ourselves when we try to live without him, smiles, and extends his hand again. I feel a voice telling me that I should quit christianity now, that I am never going to be worthy of Christ following again, but I know that is not god's voice. He's the giver of life. So now, this morning, i've learned my lesson and i'm going back to reading the bible, because its got more meaning and living water for my thirsty heart to drink deep from than an entire ocean could for my physical thirst. I thank God for his mercy.

Friday, September 25, 2009


The mark- The Seal, the identifier and the indicator of a Christian, is Suffering.


people. so many things take over our minds at that single word. because people mean so much to us, they're funny, crazy, weird, smart, good looking, ugly, hurting, mean, loving, selfish, selfless, trapped, free, sad, happy, handicapped, disabled, depressed, or rejoicing.

People are so wonderfully unique and beautiful. I hope we can never forget that they are the image of the Lord, yet in weakness. Imagine the way we could wake people's hearts with the power of Christ's love? It's the heart of humanity.

You don't get songs sung about you, tears shed because of you, or hearts rejoicing because of you when you sit around and watch TV.. or when you live constantly seeking your own comfort, or when you come home and ignore the people in your family because you "deserve" rest. In fact, you don't inspire any of the things listed above when you're doing it to have your name honored, because, somehow you find yourself unable to make sacrifices for other people when the main motivation is for you. Only in Christ can we put our whole trust, in order to inspire the heartfelt coming to life of people's hearts and gratitude expressed by imitation.
To have songs sung about you, you put all your stock in the Lord and what he has for us, you sacrifice your life, endure beatings and floggings that rip your body apart, you give up your perfect life on a cross of curses and shame, and receive the penalty for something you never deserved- for the freedom of humanity. Though we cannot do these things in our state, Jesus said, take up my strength and Go, do likewise.

Is that to say that we don't deserve every bit of pain we experience? Absolutely not. By grace we receive comfort, by grace we receive a small fraction of our due penalty, with God knowing and working it together so that we will only grow closer to Him. But we are to take up our crosses, endure shame, endure sacrifice, endure pain and rejection- all for the joy set before us when triumph comes. It can be hard, but Christ is there, and he is stronger than the force of death that was formerly over us.

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

4In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."a]">[a]

7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet,"b]">[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Look at number 12.

Its evident here that we don't do this only for our own joy in the cross, but we do it for the beauty of humanity also. We do it for the people around us who are blind and trapped in their obsession with the things of this life. We let them see how much stock we have put in the Lord, and they will be inspired to do the same.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


Was there ever a time you were happy when there was not something satisfying you? Was there ever any time in your life when you were able to smile big and treat people with love, when there was nothing satisfying you? I myself have never been able to do that unless I was pretending. Despite what's said today in some places, humans were created for satisfaction. We were created to pursue happiness, satisfaction, hope, and fulfillment. Why else is it that people who don't experience the spirit of Christ are running all over the place trying to fill themselves with some kind of satisfaction that will quench their thirsting hearts?

I will use myself as an example. I'd never really experienced Christ's love, or his heart changing truth, until the a little past the last quarter of my senior year. Until then, I was so desperate for some satisfaction. I practiced my trumpet day in and out, like 2 hours a day.. because people looked up to my skills and I got a lot of popularity for it.. I needed that popularity/admiration, not because I needed it, but because I was not satisfied with Christ, not because he isn't satisfying, but because I hadn't even welcomed him into my own heart. It's amazing to me how much he has taken place of in his satisfaction. I don't need anything else to satisfy anymore! I am free! if only i can spur on people to take hold of this freedom and see the wonder of it!

"With one voice we SING! Hallelujah!!! All the earth Cries Out.. Hallelujah!! With the angels sing, Hallelujah! Jesus Christ is King!!!" "Glow" By hillsong.


right now i come humbled by everything I am, and by everything I am supposed to be but am just not. i don't come excited, on an emotional high, or really very outwardly happy even. yet joy in the promise given to me does not fade when things aren't going so amazingly.

one thing that has struck me to the core of my heart recently is just how much we can rely on God to come through in all our requests, to be there exactly when we most need him, to protect us when all seems lost, and to give us hope in all situations. Prayer works. it really does.

This is on my heart. many people are totally convinced that Christians are all judgemental, hypocrites, and hateful people. i wish with all of my heart that people could see what christ really looks like- at work in a person- selfless sacrifice, real love, and adventurous curiosity. If our treasure is truly in heaven, then why do we act as if we're hanging on to every little bit of satisfaction on earth? I include myself.

Like someone once said- We would be ticked off if someone started preaching to everyone that Christ had not risen and that his resurrection was non-existant, yet we attest to this lie in the way we treat others who mean the most to us. Taking hold of the power of the ressurection is the whole point of Christianity. Take all the ridiculous rules, doctrine, tradition become doctrine.., canons, creeds, and everything else away except the words of Jesus- "Love me with all your heart, And in turn you will love people" This is the whole point of everything- embracing the hope that comes in the spirit of Christ- but people are too uptight and dependant on the world's approval to stoop down and live a life that meets God's approval only.
John Piper "The love of human praise is the root of Unbelief" And so if human praise is craved, then it will be hard for anyone to stoop down in the eyes of society and live a life that gets its satisfaction with the spirit of Christ and with the works God has prepared.

There is hope. For those to whom church has become a tiring once a week trip for no reason, there is hope- because we find hope in giving it all away for the cause of Christ. Am I being radical? Am i reading a different bible than most people? Am I crazy? i hope not.. i'm just reading the words the Jesus said. He said for us to give Him our all if we love him, and so we do, and the world hates us, because they don't understand how we have so much hope in this one thing. The world doesn't just mean people outside of church. The world means people who are blind to the love of Christ. That happens inside the church also. how crazy would it be to other people if we started living like christ inspires us to- giving our all for God, in our hope of the bliss of heaven?

"May I never boast except in the Cross of Christ Jesus"- Paul is such an inspiration.

Saturday, September 19, 2009


All it takes.

Cast all else aside for the Joy of the Cross, and be filled with joy unimaginable.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


I begged Him to take away my complacency just for one moment, just for a small ammount of time. He did, and it brought me to my knees. I wouldn't trade moments like these for all the money in the world, sex, popularity, girls, anything. Nothing. this is the greatest feeling ever. "Submitting the full mind and heart to worship of God adorns the spirit" well duh! its what we're all made for. i trust that the one who made us knows exactly what it is that catches our hearts on fire- and in our case it is Him!! It is the Lord! It is his own heart that reaches deep into us and awakens that which longs to be fully alive in us- our hearts. I can't imagine- just how wonderful heaven will be- if this is only a shadow compared to the full glory of heaven. All I know is that I agree with Paul- I consider all else LOST as compared to knowing Christ Jesus. There is nothing, not a single thing, that is greater or more wonderful. His grace takes my heart and heals it in arms of love.

"Just a glimmer of your Glory and the EARTH falls to its knees"
"You level mountains, with a whisper, and you calm the raging seas"

Monday, September 14, 2009


God, be my strength when I've lost everything else. I don't know why it is that I'm so forgetful that Christ is the only true satisfaction in this world. I keep on wanting attention from girls and people in general, and it comes and goes. Am I to allow my happiness to ebb and flow like this? I'm part of the redeemed body of Christ, nothing that i've lost on this earth won't be repaid a thousandfold in heaven. I know that He is the only satisfaction, and as soon as I start taking my attention off of other stuff (with his help), joy and satisfaction in knowing Him will grow. Life's not about not seeking satisfaction- Its abotu seeking the right kind of satisfaction- the kind that lasts.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


Failure after failure, I'm living my life like I've got no hope in Christ sometimes. Every time I start putting something before seeking out his truth above everything else, I start to lose hope. I start to look lower and live lower, and I fail. Every day, I fall down, take my hope out of Christ for one instant, I make a decision against him. Somehow, he's using these mistakes to teach my heart just how wonderful the communion with his spirit is. The times when I feel I've been so selfish that I could never possibly take up my cross and dare to walk in the footsteps of this perfect man, the savior of all creation for all eternity, He reaches out and shows me that I am right where he wants me. He lovingly takes up all my failings upon his strong shoulders, so that I can walk in the righteousness of his strength- something my heart can never understand!

And so, I'm forgetting the past, and striving on toward the future, running the race with the strength and willpower that comes only from Christ. It's by love I've been saved!!! Praise the one who payed my debts and raised this life back from the dead!!

It's so great to be free. Christ, be my strength!

Anyways, I'm actually being majorly successful with writing a worship song- something I've never been able to do! we'll see if it sounding alright is just an illusion in my head or not haha.
praise god!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Every Sunrise Sings your Grace

I was listening to one of my friend's testimonies tonight, and I was listening for the part I always long for and love to hear- the part where the lost and confused, hurt and enslaved, broken and hopeless person gets on their knees and cries out to God to save them from the mess satan has led them into. I always love to hear this (for many reasons), first because there are times I wish I could go back to the time I did it- so sure of the sin I needed to rid myself of- and so filled with hope for this new life with God. And because it is from this moment on that the sheer power of Christ's resurrection begins to work in this person's life. It's awesome to watch this person change as they continue to live. So, for those, and some more reasons, I sometimes wish I could relive that experience I had a year ago. Then it just popped into my head. I realized that every single moment, every morning is the time to get on our knees and give our lives to God. Are we still not sinners? Every waking moment is our moment to get on our knees and give our broken hearts over to God, again and again. Paul said "I die to myself again and again each day" -This wasn't so he could be dead. It was so he could be alive in Christ. The more we die to ourselves, the more we come alive to Christ. So from now on, every day will be a new day for me in Christ, while I forget the past, and strive on towards what is the future. Praise God!
selfless sacrifice is the most beautiful thing a person will ever see. Beauty that can only be described by the truth of Christ's death- which we'll only understand fully on the last day, when we will be gloriously lifted up, to stand blamelessly before our father in heaven.

“My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part but the whole
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul”

Sin, is not simply the breaking of some pointless law. Sin is heartbreak. Sin is deceit. Sin is lies from the one apart from God who desires our destruction- and Christ is the one from God, who desires us to live.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

here's how we know if we are on the road of christ- if it is hard. if it is joyful. if it is wonderful. if it's sacrificial. there will be a lot of people attacking us, a lot of pain attacking us, but all of this pain serves to fill our hearts with more love and fondness with other people, and with Christ. it hurts, but its worth it. The pushups hurt, but they're worth it- the all night studying hurts, but its worth it- the speech in front of other people hurt, but it was worth it- the guitar fundamental practice hurt, but it was worth it. In the same way, living for Christ hurts sometimes, but it's worth it.
Don't anyone let this discourage- because just as you practice the guitar, you do it to get better and enjoy the newfound strength in your hands. glory to god for his patience with me.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

this is a real battle

i will not give up. i will not. ever. I feel like God's throwing a ton of tests at me, a ton of painful learning experiences, a ton of doubt, and a ton of adversity, but i will not give up. maybe he's preparing me for a situation i'll be in soon. although my heart feels like its ripped apart and totally confused, I know peace and sweeter fellowship with Christ will come. I will not give up. Ignorance is so, so, easy. Being judgmental and not valuing people's hearts is so easy. And once your stuck in a ignorant life-style, its so hard to get out of it. My heart literally hurts from all the stuff that's been going on- but that's no pity party statement- that's a boast in christ. Because now that I am one of his sons by his Promise, he is disciplining me in his perfect strength, to make me a better person. I'll like it later, but now, it will be pressing on through the opposition- with the strength and will power of Christ my King. And his strength is very, very, real- and empowering.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews something.

I rejoice in the resurrection of Christ, and I strive with all of the might Christ's given me to show that he is indeed magnificent above all else. peace

Thursday, September 3, 2009

giving it up!!

I suppose now, I have much respect from a lot of people- basically because I'm trying to escape what i deserve from the natural order of things. I'm sure people think i'm a pure hearted guy who is strong and steadfast in my pursuit of Christ. I suppose people are inspired by the writings i do in english or whatever else. I'd like to tell anyone who has any respect for me to forget it. It is Christ who has rescued me from my desperate addictions to lust and pride. It's Christ who has shown me love for other people. It's Christ who has taught me all the things I know.
I suppose people will think good of me for attributing it all to Christ- but the only thing that I've ever done at all is desire happiness.

There's temporary happinness and there's long-lasting, deep in our heart- happiness. I only wanted the latter. I mean.. it makes sense right? I want, for MYself, to be happy all the time, not just a little bit of the time, but all the time. And so, in my pursuit of happiness, I've cast off the things that will give me temporary happinness and put stock in those that will give me lasting happiness. Does this make me great? No. It makes the giver of the happiness great. All glory and honor belong in the name of Jesus Christ. In saying this, I can almost feel, somehow, some kind of honor being attached to my name, just by declaring this- but i say no! if you feel any good feelings toward me, cast them off and place them in the name of Jesus Christ- so that it my be glorified and lifted higher. I'm serious. I'm the one who was a pervert half my life. I'm the one who was so addicted to people praising me that I couldn't see straight. I'm the one who has such an inwardly oriented view of the world, that all my desires consist of serving myself. I'm the one who, even now, am so weak that I may be letting pride into my heart by typing this very thing. I'm the one who has impure motives, i'm the one who used to shamefully lust after women and still do, though I'm no longer suubject to it through Christ the King. Do you see what I'm saying? I feel as if, even by praising Christ like this, I'm attaching some kind of honor to my name.. Cast it off of my name and take it to Christ! I don't want any honor, not because I'm great or anything, but because I've decided to get my happiness from the things that last forever and not those that last an hour, a week, a year, or for a couple decades.
Recently, I looked around, and I saw the position I was in. I probly have the respect of a lot of people, and many people probably think I have a good heart, and many people probably think that I have good writing skills and i'm a nice person and whatever. And I started to look around and see that I liked it. I took stock in my position and I slowed down. I started to think, that, for some reason, public approval and pride and the gifts God had given me were going to make me happy. Ever since that moment of low-living, my heart has been miserable and deprived. I can't depend on pride and public approval because this isn't the stuff of what my heart's made for. My heart is made to be in communion with Christ.
And so, I cast off all for the joy of the cross. I cast off all I ever thought was good about me and place it in my hope in Christ. We must press on. Never stop, never settle for less. Keep on giving it all up, in order to seize the joy that's been set before all of us. To Jesus Christ our Lord, truly, all honor, all praise!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

half-awake, or half- asleep. whatever fits your fancy

Some of the transformative effects of Jesus Christ.

I spent a lot of my early life in church pretending to be a good christian to get girls to like me, and then I started pretending to be all good and stuff to my school to get people's respect, but, now, I don't give a flip what anybody thinks about me- because the God of the universe approves.

There's so much social interaction between people, just waiting to happen, but it's not, because people are so afraid to open up- be the one who breaks the ice that may not've been broken and start warm frienships, or just smile at people- my goal for the next while.

We can't be purposeful servants of Christ if our heart's aren't in a sharp realization of how close heaven is. Otherwise- we start putting our stock in earthly stuff. My other goal.

The effects of sanctification are taking place in me, and I feel this happiness like nothing else- I'm starting to feel sick and dismissive of anything that would lead me to take pride in myself- while earlier my heart welcomed it in to rip it apart even more. God's been working much in my heart lately, and it feels like chaotic peace. Awesomeness (sanctus real song).

I really want to find some way to bring american youth to treasure Christ- scratch that- not just American youth, everyone. But I figure I'd have more influence on those my age group. i wish i could write a book and sell it to every kid from age 15-21. but who's to say it'd have any effect? i ramble a lot lol.

It's time for bed, its time for gettin in the word and praying- no more typing, i'm getting sleepy. goodnight :D