Thursday, August 18, 2011

How could You really love me?

my heart begins to beat violently,
I gasp harder for air.
my mind is renewed in an explosion of truth.
the one who is from everlasting to everlasting loves me. LOVES ME.
now cry away the unbelief,
cry away the lies,
cry away the sadness.
cough and sputter out the hate,
let go of the shame,
and breathe again.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Once upon a time, there was humanity.
They wanted. They longed, oh how they longed.
They dreamed, they fantasized, they desired.
They craved, they wished, they looked, and searched for the unknown renown.
They wanted something big. They wanted wars. Not just wars. they wanted more. They wanted the world.
They wanted victory, they looked for exalted adventures, they wanted something magnificent.
They yearned legends to bear witness to truth. They weren't satisfied with routine.

But when the opportunity came for reality to merge with their yearnings, they turned away.
Reality, they saw, costs. Reality would hurt. Reality would leave tragic wounds in their souls.
But what they didn't see, is that a soul pierced by wounds of the journey, that continues on,
is a soul quenched of violent thirst.

I love being a human, and I love participating in the greatest true love story of all time.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


we humans like to pretend; that we would be happier if things were better.
our alarming and horrifying discontent with life, like a monkey on the back, is always here even when tranquility and harmless perfection rule; but we seek reasons to let him raise his ugly head, even when he knows no reasons.
we pretend that we're slaving away towards truth and obligation when we only want satisfaction.
we act like we're trying to do the right thing, because it's the right thing, because it's the right thing, because we're supposed to do the right thing.. when we really take short cuts to save our souls from pain.
our hearts are needy as a sick orphan with no parents or home,
but even when the neediness is groping desperately with shrieks from her own self-inflicted pain, we shut our mouths and pretend we're satisfied.


a raging passion in our hearts screams out for movement, something real. but when we can't find anything real that requires little of us, we attach ourselves to "things". we attach ourselves to political parties. we attach ourselves to causes for which we have no real passion except that which the soul says to the mind, "if only this, then satisfaction". we attach ourselves to religion.

we need a savior. not only from hell. but from ourselves. because there's a good bit of hell in us yet.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

A Sacrifice of Praise

I'm am so thankful to God that He teaches me a new lesson about life almost every hour. If I wrote down everything that I learned from just thinking critically about things and allowing the Holy Spirit to bring to the surface deep thoughts in my soul which otherwise my sin would have suppressed, a whole book could be written! Thank you Lord. 

Here is a really important thing that I've realized. I think this will be especially important for me as I continue on in my studies of philosophy of religion and philosophy.

Intellectual performance is not the Most Important Thing to God
If having properly justified and accurate beliefs about all the things of God were most important, Jesus would not have died for sins; he would have come to earth and built a grand universal college for all of us humans to go to in order to rid us of our "evil" ignorance. But that's not what happened. Jesus died and rose for our sins. He died and rose to reverse the morale rebellion that is rampant in our hearts. He died to destroy morale unbelief, not unwitting fallacies in thought. Thus it is evidently not intellectual beliefs which are the most important, but a heart of praise-- for that's what Jesus died to give us.  Even further, this verse has a lot to say about the situation: "You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe—and shudder!" The context of this verse is a teaching from James (maybe) about the necessity of works proving a person's faith to be true, so it is not necessarily talking about intellectual beliefs and praise-- but I think one can derive the same message. If having the right beliefs were the most important things in the eyes of God, then the demons who do have true beliefs would be favored in his eyes instead of us humans who know much less. But they're not. So this is a strong wake up call to those who think that they are any better than other Christians because they are more informed and have more properly warranted beliefs-- including myself. 

So what is it that is most important? 
"For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. 
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17

It seems to me that the most important things to God are humility, conviction, service, and love. As Paul says, " If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God." According to Paul, it's not knowledge that matters, but a clean conscience and a heart that loves God. This is what it means to "know" something.

Does that mean that obtaining the right beliefs is not important? Of course not. It simply means that the first and most important thing is to love God with what knowledge one has. In fact, I think that any Christian who is really committed to the Gospel ought to be studying in order to obtain more justified true beliefs all the time. But it's not the detailed doctrinal beliefs that are the most important. It's the basic message of the Gospel: Repentance-- from out-rightly visible sexual sins to the even more disgusting, filthy, and repugnant sin of pride. 

Friday, August 5, 2011


I haven't had a favorite song for a long time.