Saturday, March 30, 2013

An Update

I find that I have two natures within my conscious experience: A shadow nature, and a true and real nature.

Truth is within my heart, yet my shadow nature suppresses and obscures it.

I find that all I need to live a life of goodness and truth is within my nature. Yet, now I find that I am not interested in finding the deepest parts of myself, for I am too interested in the shadows of my complacency; in the impulses of my lower nature.

How did such a being as me come to exist? Is it possible for nature to sculpt a creature whose deepest satisfaction is to drink deeply of being itself? I can't help but turn to God as the one who makes sense of all of this mess of me. But this "turning" is proving to be massively difficult, as I have multiple questions that need answering, and along with these questions are oppressive shadows determined to drag me down to desert truth, to desert my glorious nature, to dismiss reality.

An update-- that's my life right now.